At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
