weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
