I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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