So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
