I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
