So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?