Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize