kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?