So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
