Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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