ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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