Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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