she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
