when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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