After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
