The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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