i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
