I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
