woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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