i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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