That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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