I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
