dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
