Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
