Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
