Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
