Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
