Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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