White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
