i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
