Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
