Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this just has baby written all over it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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