yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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