just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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