There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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