There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
