So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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