Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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