You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
