at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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