What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
