Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
