we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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