are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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