the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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