Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
