Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
