We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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