covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
