She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
