Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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