I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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