Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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