pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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