ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
