You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize