I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
