You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
