I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize