Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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