If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Enjoy the penises
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
