Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize