Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
