Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
