He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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