What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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